After Dinner Cleanup

Every night, we split the ritual of cleaning up after the kids at dinner time vs. putting them to bed. And every night its my turn to clean up after dinner, I inevitably turn my body into a garbage disposal unit, eating the children’s leftovers, reasoning, “Well, I wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”

It occurred to me today, however, that the Mindlessly voracious goat from The Onion’s, Hey, You Got Something to Eat? is a far more accurate metaphor:

Do you have any trash? I’ll eat trash. You were gonna throw it out anyway. Hey, lemme eat it. Lemme at least taste it. If it’s no good to eat, I’ll know. I hate to see it go to waste, is all. […]

Maybe I could eat something else for you later, something maybe that you’re not interested in eating. Or maybe something that you intend to only eat half of. I might be able to eat the rest of it for you.

I’ve tried about enough of the grass around here to last me a while. I’m sick of this grass. This damned same grass day in and day out, I could just about… I take that back. This grass is okay. I’ll eat it. It’s pretty good. It’s great, actually. I mean, it’s okay.

By Ken Walker

Husband, Father, Analyst. In a glass case of emotion since 1978.